OK, so yesterday, my husband and I had a friend staying with us. We’ve known him for a good few years now, and so know that not only does he wear glasses, but that without them, he is incredibly myopic. He himself has often said that without his glasses, he wouldn’t be able to see the nose on his face. However, a hilarious incident yesterday evening brought fully into focus (pardon the pun) just how bad his eyesight is. (Before I go any further, I feel I should point out that I am in no way making fun of him. I wear glasses and contact lenses myself and without them, I have trouble making out detail, which is one reason why I found the aforementioned incident quite so funny).
The incident in question took place yesterday evening as we all prepared to retire to bed. We only have one bathroom and so seeing as he was our guest, we said that he should use it first. I had just finished putting my nightie on and came out of my bedroom, putting my arms into the sleeves of my dressing gown as I did so, only to see our friend (sans glasses) coming out of the bathroom looking a little puzzled.
“Everything OK?” I asked.
“Yes,” he replied, “I just didn’t expect to see the Virgin Mary looking at me while I was having a pee.”
I laughed, thinking at this point that the flavourful wine he had kindly brought with him, must have gone to his head.
“I didn’t think you were religious” he went on.
“I’m not,” I replied.
“So why do you have a statue of the Virgin Mary in the bathroom?” he asked.
“Yes, you do. I was taking a pee and I looked to my right and saw the Virgin Mary, all dressed in her blue and white, looking at me.”
At this point, I must have looked incredibly perplexed. In my head I couldn’t work out whether he was drunk, imagining things, or both! Seeing the look on my face, he said, “Come here, I’ll show you.”
Now I’m not in the habit of following men into bathrooms, whether they are friends of mine or not, but I was truly curious as to just what it was he was claiming to have seen.
Upon entering the bathroom, he walked towards the toilet and then turned to his right, pointed to a spot just underneath the bathroom cupboards and said, “There!”
I immediately burst out laughing!
“What’s so funny?” he asked. Now it was his turn to look perplexed.
I composed myself as much as I could and said, “That’s my iron!”
It’s true, dear friends. Without his glasses, my friend had looked at my slimline, blue and white iron which sits on its little stand just underneath my bathroom cupboards, and thought it was a statue of the Virgin Mary!
He clapped his hands to his face and his shoulders began to jig up and down, before he took a deep breath and literally roared with laughter. Meanwhile, my husband – who had just appeared at the doorway – saw us pointing at the iron, laughing hysterically and thought we had both taken leave of our senses.
Once serenity had finally been restored, we bade each other goodnight and went to our rooms. I was still giggling a little as I closed my eyes. Just as a drifted off to sleep, I remember thinking that it put a whole new spin on the song “Let It Be” by Paul McCartney.
“When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Whispering through the laundry,