This poem is a true story. The female protagonist is my Mum; the sleeping husband is my Dad. I have to say that when my Mum told me this story, I almost had an accident, I was laughing so hard! I hope it still raises a giggle or two!
One night she found that she couldn’t sleep,
Myriad thoughts ran amuck in her head.
So rather than stare at the ceiling all night
She thought she’d watch some telly instead.
Her husband was sleeping, the house was empty,
And so out of the bedroom she crept,
Then wandered downstairs to the chest of drawers
Where all their movies were kept.
She looked for something suitable,
Something to clear the thoughts from her head,
When she saw a film with a hand-written label:
“Steaming Passions” it read.
Her stomach flipped and her poor heart sank,
Galled and appalled in equal measure.
The film must surely belong to her husband
For his sickening desires to pleasure.
With anger building inside her,
She played the filthy DVD,
But the images which flickered up on the screen
Were not what she expected to see.
There was footage of the “Flying Scotsman”
And locomotives being lifted by cranes.
And the more she watched, the more she saw,
That the movie was all about trains!
The only passions that were steaming,
Were for engines being powered by coal!
And she felt so utterly stupid
That her laughter she could hardly control.
Never judge a book by its cover!
For the subject you can never quite tell.
But the valuable lesson she learned that night
Is that that goes for movies as well!