It’s Specific, Not Pacific

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There is a theory that you should never correct someone who says “pacific” when they mean “specific“, as it instantly allows you to accurately gauge their level of grammatical ignorance. The thing is, I can’t help it. I grind my teeth, I clench my buttocks and my fists, but to no avail. I have to correct them.

The last time someone asked me to be more “pacific”, the sarcastic side of me let loose before I could even think about stopping it. Almost as an out of body experience, I heard myself saying, “How can I be more pacific? I’m perfectly calm and tranquil as it is. If I were any more pacific right now, I’d be the Dalai Lama. However, if you are suggesting that I should be more like an ocean, I don’t see how I could possibly be that. Mind you, I could be more like a 4-6-2 locomotive, globally known as a Pacific type, and run you over for being so goddamn stupid!”

Oh! And while we’re on the subject of the misuse of words, may I ask, if you have literally just died laughing at what I’ve said, how are you still reading this bit?

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