An Arid Sex Life

I originally wrote this article five years ago, back in February 2012, when I was working as a journalist for a now defunct online newspaper. It wasn’t my habit to write articles of such brevity as this one, but the story tickled me so much I felt I had to cover it, even if it was just a few lines. I never found out whether they caught the perpetrator. Perhaps if any members of Iowa’s law enforcement happen to be reading this, they could let me know! 

Masked Raider Steals Blowup Doll At Knifepoint

Police in Iowa City, Iowa, USA, are hunting for an armed man after a bizarre robbery at a sex shop. The robbery took place last month, however, given that the police currently have no leads, they have taken the step of releasing details of the incident in the hope that members of the public may be able to help.

At around 3 a.m. on January 17, 2012, a balaclava-clad man entered the Romantix Pleasure Palace in Iowa City, Iowa, and began to casually look around. After a minute or two of browsing, the man took a 20-pound rubber doll called “Pipedream Extreme F*ck Me Silly FantaFlesh” retailing at around $200, down off one of the shelves and proceeded to the checkout. Rather than reaching for his wallet, however, the man pulled out a hunting knife and threatened the female cashier. As the terrified woman threw herself to the floor, the man picked up the doll and fled the store.

An officer from Iowa City Police Department – who have offered a $1,000 reward for anyone with information leading to the arrest and conviction of the suspect – said, “There was over $1,500 at the counter and yet all he wanted was this blowup doll. I guess some folks get desperate.”

Eleanor Parks 2012

As frightening as this undoubtedly was for the cashier, I have to admit that this was one of the strangest, and more amusing, robberies I had ever heard about. So, if you’re sat at home this weekend, desperate and fretting over the fact that your sex life is as arid as the Nevada desert, at least you’re not as desperate as some folks out there. Hang on in there, sunshine! 

seal

 

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10 thoughts on “An Arid Sex Life

    • Thanks! I’m thrilled I could make you smile! I’d love to know what his true motive was. Whether it was that he couldn’t afford it, or whether he couldn’t afford it just then but was so desperate he had to have it. I’d even considered whether the act of actually stealing it was part of the thrill. Maybe we’ll never know. I’m glad I could make you smile though. A day you make someone smile is a day not wasted.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Pingback: Mail Order Nudist | Do Not Annoy The Writer

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