A silly little verse to indulge my love of wordplay.
He was sitting, eating his breakfast,
When amidst a clap of thunder,
He was drowned in his bowl of muesli
A strong currant pulled him under.
His wife, who was upstairs packing
For a weekend getting her kicks,
Was discovered dead on the bedroom floor,
Throttled by a Weetabix.
A few days passed without incident,
When an icecream van from Manfredi’s
Had to swerve to avoid a woman in the road,
Who’d been stabbed to death by some Shreddies.
The police investigation
Eventually came to naught,
And all the deaths were deemed freak events,
Or at least, that’s what people thought.
Then the detectives received a letter
From a criminal mastermind,
He boasted that he was the brains behind all the deaths
And that him they’d never find.
“I’m climbing the heights of infamy” he said
“I’m the Moriarty of my day!”
He ended his letter with “You’ll hear from me soon!”
And he signed it, “Special K”.