What Doesn’t Demolish Me…

Thus far, it’s been a bit of a day, I don’t mind telling you.

The day started off well enough. In fact, it began on quite a humorous note. My husband and I take it in turns to feed our cats each morning. It isn’t so much a rota system, as something we just fell into doing. Sometimes we forget whose turn it is, and so the question “Whose turn is it to do the cats?” is not an unusual one in our house. This morning, as we awoke at around 07:30, my husband asked me this very question, to which I replied that it was my turn. Pulling the covers up to his chin and snuggling back down to sleep, he muttered “Oh that’s wonderful. That’s the best news I’ve had all day.” Cheeky bugger!

Alas, it was very much downhill from there.

The first incident occurred while I was on my way out to do some shopping at the supermarket, and a guy failed to look where he was going and damned near drove right into me as he pulled out of a side street. To add insult to injury, he began gesticulating wildly and ferociously at the beeping of my horn, intimating that is was I that was in the wrong, and not he.

This was followed by a stop at the local pharmacy to have a prescription filled. On being handed the medication, I was smilingly told that “That’s €26.30 please” I queried whether that was indeed the correct price. The pharmacist, still smiling, insisted that it was. I, however, wasn’t smiling as I said, loud enough for the rapidly forming queue behind me to hear “That’s strange, because the last time I had this medication, the price was €16.30. Are you seriously telling me that the price has increased by ten euros?”

“You’ve had this medication before,” the pharmacist replied, “Let me just check that for you” A few taps on the computer keyboard later, she said “Oh yes, so you have. You’re right, it’s €16.30. I think the price has been wrongly added to the computer.”

“I think you think I was born yesterday” I said, as I paid for my medication and left.

Back home, I put my shopping away and then did some light dusting and swept and mopped the floor. The cats’ litter trays needed emptying too, so, as I normally do, I took a large black plastic bag from the cupboard, emptied the entire contents of the trays into the bag, tied it up and began to take it outside. I was mid-way between the kitchen and living room, when the bottom of the bag burst open, dumping multiple tray-fulls of cat litter all over the freshly cleaned floor. At this point, I believe I said something along the lines of “Piss poo arse wank bastard fucking bollocks!” before setting about cleaning up the mess.

And then the doorbell rang.

Sighing and wiping my hands, I tried to compose myself as best I could, and then answered the door … to be confronted by two very wholesome, very smiley, Jehova’s Witnesses. “Can we talk to you about the good word of the Lord?” one of them asked, beaming beatifically at me. Now, at this point I feel I should point out that most days, I would either politely say “No, thank you”, or engage with them on all the contradictory points in the bible. This, however, was not “most days”. So you can imagine the look on their faces when, to their perfectly nice question, I replied “Why are you asking to talk to me about god? I don’t come knocking on your door asking to talk to you about wine and dildos now, do I?”

The cat litter has been cleaned up, and now, here I sit, telling you about my day and how rude I was to two perfectly respectable people. As I sip my Earl Grey tea, I am contemplating how we all have days like this at some point, days where everything seems to wrong. The thing is, the things that have gone wrong today are inconsequential compared to the things that may have gone wrong in other peoples’ lives.

Oh well, onwards and upwards. That which doesn’t demolish me, will only serve to polish me.




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